5
Dec
2009
9 Tips- How to talk to a transsexual (really 6 tips)
I have only been in the adult industry for about a year. I am just a normal transwoman who happens to like making pornography. I am not used to seeing the term shemale and tranny and stuff like that used on a normal basis. It bothers me, but I can ignore it when its used in porn because porn is porn. I can not ignore it when its used in my normal life and towards me especially. If someone is talking to me or about me, do NOT refer to me as a tranny or a shemale or any of the crap. Its offensive and I don’t like it.
If you see me in one of those godforsaken trans clubs do not ask me if I have a penis. Do you always ask people that? Do you meet the girl at starbucks and ask her “Hey, do you have a penis or a vagina?” That is just ASKING to get a slap in the face. Ask me that at my normal job and I will have you fired. Do not ask “Are you a REAL girl?”. What? Opposed to a FAKE girl? Which is why you are implying that I just might be? In other words, a fake girl or I am really a guy? Ask me that and Guaranteed I will either just walk away from you OR I will embarrass you and make you feel bad on the spot. Have some common sense and turn the questions around on yourself and see if they seem right to you.
Since it seems there are so many people out there who have no idea how to talk to another human being, I will give you some tips:
1. Don’t ask me what genitalia I have. Period.
2. Don’t ask me if I am a “tranny” or a “Shemale” or any of that offense stuff. –If you REALLY want to know, you can use the terms “Transsexual” or “Transwoman”.
3. Don’t ask me if I am a “real girl”. See above terms as what to use.
4. I am not a hooker or an escort. Don’t assume that I am. You can ask if you like, but don’t assume.
5. Don’t grab my ass or touch me if you don’t know me. Try and get to know me first.
6. If you want to buy me a drink, that is cool…but Don’t expect anything out of it except for a nice conversation.
7. I ran out of tips
8. ???
9. Profit.
—OK, so you most likely won’t get #8 and #9 unless you are a frequent internet board reader such as myself. But those are just some tips on how to talk to a transwoman or a transman for that matter if you wish to have a decent conversation and get to know them without making them offended.
You make look at this post and think – wow she is being bitchy or a complainer or something, but I really am not. Asking to be talked to like a normal person isn’t asking too much. If you come up and talk to me, I can be one of the nicest people ever and down to earth, but don’t insult me and expect me to still be nice.
Look at this post more as a way to teach you and guide you on your journey in to talking to humans. Its ONLY 6 tips. They are guaranteed to make give you more success than not using them.
Talk to yall later,
<3 Amy Daly
Seems like this should be common sense, but us men can be real idiots sometimes. Good idea to publish these tips…I’m sick of seeing/hearing dudes crash and burn with girls because they actually approach them saying these types of things. Well, hope to get to buy you a drink sometime…I’m always up for a nice conversation with a nice girl.
Thanks Keith. I am glad you appreciated the post : ) I would be more than happy to enjoy nice conversation!
Amy I’m really glad I read this. The tips about the terms “Transsexual” or “Transwoman” were very informative. Your on my top row at Myspace. I want to know all about your work. Thanks, Mickey
Awesome, Mickey! I am glad that you can get something out of it! You have no idea how much of a difference it can make just by using correct terms like that
Great post Amy, and it’s a shame that you even had to write it. You would “think” that most people would use their brain, but unfortunately they don’t. It’s one of the things that really ticks me off as well. Especially when they guys at the clubs do nothing but look at the girls as sex toy or a hole to put their dick into. These guys and (genetic) girls needs to realize that regardless of gender human is human and everybody should be treated the same – with respect, dignity, and common sense.
I really appreciate you posting this, guys need to know how to treat girls. Its important for guys that read this to apply this not only to trans-women like me and you but to any woman. However, given the circumstances the guys who do read this should learn from this. I cannot agree more with what you said, i wont go over any parts because they are all equally important. Remember guys, transwomen are women too, always be think before you act or speak to one of us at a club, or any place in which you know who we are. Kudos amy and thank you for speaking out we need more girls like you to tell it like it is.
Very good tips.
Calpernia Addams did a similar public service that you might find amusing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjqsB1huDxg
BTW, Hi. I’m Sera, nice ta meetcha.
Amy, if you go to the AVNs, will you and the girls be going out to party at the clubs? I had been scheduled to be in Vegas that weekend, and figure I could try to come. And these tips would be helpful if I were lucky enough to talk to any of you. Thanks!
Hmmm i learned #’s 8 and 9 from South Parks underpants gnomes lol.
Let common sense and decency prevail. I’d never ask about your genatalia , i’d be happy w/ whatever i find in a girls panties.
You’re a lady and should be treated like one , now lets get some drinks have some laughs and hang out.
Ok, I’m a little confused. It’s quite clear what it’s NOT ok to say, but it would have helped if you’d mentioned what it IS ok to say. Many men who go to these places would specifically be looking to meet someone who on the outside looks like a genetic woman, but has a penis. Assuming this preference isn’t in itself wrong, what is your advice for helping these people find the people they are looking for?
As the saying goes “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”, so please, less of the problem, and more of the solution.
Rebroad, you are totally right, which is why I plan on making a few more blogs regarding the subject. One is going to be more tips on what to do. One will be tips on where to find normal trans women and not at a club : )
You mean you’re not normal ?!?
A-HA i knew it ! You’re Batgirl aren’t you?
You wrote your fine words, I was glad to read them. Sorry for my English but I am Italian.
YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.
Oh my fucking god, YES.
You would think these would be OBVIOUS, but people break these rules so often when they try flirting with us, and it’s just a instant dealbreaker. There’s nothing that’ll make me lose interest in a guy (or girl) faster, than if they break these rules.
-nia nia nia
[...] If you need a little refresher, make sure you visit this post by the lovely Amy herself on, ‘How To Talk To A Transsexual.’ Then, after you’re all set, come out and help us celebrate the awesome Transsexual [...]
Good advice, Amy. I knew not to use terms like shemale or tranny(although what to do if you hear a girl say it herself? Is it a reclaimed word for some transsexuals? Better safe than sorry, I suppose, and not say it no matter what…) Although I’m attracted to transsexuals and that makes me a tranny chaser, I try to be respectful to anyone I meet and nice especially since I would eventually like a relationship BUT advice on ” the do’s” of socializing and talking politely to transwomen would be great as well. Thanks.
Amy I can’t believe how beautiful you are. When I look at your porn pictures, I’m strangely finding myself looking at the face pictures more than the body shots!
I wish you the best with everything.
aww wow thank you : )
Helo,
I just found this informative topic. I would say there is nothing new I can say, thus I must agree with teh comments of Mickey and Rebroad. It is totally what I had in mind to exert as my contribution here. Ignorance is no excuse for misbehaving, and shyness is not overcome with bad manners…..
thanks for the advices Amy, and the rest